Oh where to start, where to start?

First of all I should talk about school. I had started school but because of financial aid problems I had to get out. Not that I was really cut out for game art. Going through a lot of my old things I realized that I tried though. XD Just not cut out for it. Though I'm glad for the experience that I did gain through those classes. I learned about flash animation and how to create videos (though about that time I got into an accident and got out of that class due to many missing days.) It really was fun.

But about May of this year I had taken a break. (A long break since no one from the school called me back after all the times I called. Can't you tell that I'm too lazy to go to the school?) Anyway, I figured the break was good because I figured out what I wanted to do. Since I'm just not cut out for art (drawn wise) I figure that I should go for Graphic Design. So hopefully my financial aid does go through so I can actually get back into school.

Right now I'm supposed to be cleaning but I had to write. I didn't know what I was going to write but I decided to write a journal entry. I just haven't been up to writing actual stories at the moment. I just feel... well I don't know. Like I'm not good enough I guess. Apart of me figures "what's the point in writing anymore?" while another part of me is screaming "Fuck everyone else." It's hard trying to agree with one of the screaming voices in my head when the other just gets louder.

I have so many things that I want to write down. So many things in my head telling me to just put them down on paper for now and deal with the consequences later. Everything I do write down gets turned into blobs as I scratch over it with a pen or what ever I'm writing with.

As for life here in Arizona? Well it's hard since money is scarce and food is hard to obtain when there is no money. I don't like rice. I hate it in fact. It was pretty much all we could eat when we had no money growing up and that started my great dislike for it. When it is made I have to force myself to eat it. Sometimes I'll serve myself as little as possible so that I won't have to deal with it. Picky? Probably, but I hate it.

Not that I'm not trying to get money. In fact I have been looking for a job for a while now. I get no calls back from the places I do apply to and that just hits you right where it hurts. It makes me feel so useless and feel like I can't do it. But I'm trying to think positive! I'm trying, I'm really trying.

Life at home... eh don't even ask about that. I don't feel like going through the whole thing of my niece almost being taken away. I'm just trying to think positive with that as well. I don't want to think about all that stuff. I'm fine with my own problems thank you very much. My sister can deal with her owns. I just hope she knows that what ever happens, she can't disappoint me more than what she has already.

Hm... I should probably start cleaning again. I think I took a long enough break.

Ah~, Jay Chou, such lovely music. XD

I'll try to update as much as I can! I promise~.

Oh I haven't done anything with Dynasty Warriors in a long time. ~o~ I miss Zhang He so much. I'm thinking about just resting his stats and goiong through the game with him again just to level him up. Lately I've been into Tales of the Abyss (I think Jade needs to be dominated and knocked off his high horse badly.), Metal Gear Solid 4 (waiting for it's release.), and Samurai Warriors (The whole KeiKane pairing.) I only did a few things with Dynasty Warriors and that is RPing with my Gan Ning. <3

Let's see when I have time to play the game. Oh I can not wait until Musou Orochi comes out. (Yes, I refuse to call it Warriors Orochi or what ever the English name is.) Ah well... I'll make me some icons as well, later. Some of Zhang He. And a wallpaper. ~o~ I really need to pratice my Photoshop abilities. They aren't too good, though I am proud of what I have learned. ^o^ Yey! Anyway, yeah, I have to go, my cousin is out of class. (And it's close to 11p.m here. I get in school around 8a.m and don't leave until 11 p.m, how is that for a long day?)

Love you all~... well the few that do come to my journal. XD

Ah~, I'm in photoshop right now and I'm bored. Yes, yes I'm paying attention but it's boring. Somethings I know and some things I don't. Ah, but I found some good Keiji and Kanetsugu pictures yesterday. ^^ I've been in a Keiji and Kanetsugu mood lately for some reason.

I think they are just so cute together. Though some people complain that Kanetsugu should go with Mitsunari, but I think Mitsunari is best with Sakon. ._. Ah well. Musou Orochi is coming out in October and I'm estatic. Though I can care less for the American title.

I'm also happy for Samurai Warriors 2 XL. X3 The new character, I can't remember his name. What else... Oh, Samurai Warriors Katana for the Wii. Owa~, so many games. @.@ I want them all.

I finally got Tales of the Abyss. I can't wait to play that either. Ah~, I should really be paying attention in class. So... I should go and do that now.

Oh wait, what I really came to put. XD I almost forgot. BumbleBee is a bug not a camero. Who decided to put the lame fire decal on Optimus Prime? And poor Jazz. Oh, and yeah, BumbleBee was British. Other than those small details I loved the movie. I want to go see it again. <3

... I need a BumbleBee Icon now. I will go and work on that.

Okey, so here is an update!

Um, I've updated my user pics (icons) with things that I have made (sans the chibi Zhang He. I could never take credit for that one. <3) I am also trying so hard to make myself a layout for my live journal and actually learn how to do it but I just can't seem to.

School has been going fine and I'm going to be back in San Antonio for a week. I should be there by noon on Friday. But since it is close to a 14 hour drive I will probably be sleeping on that day.

I have a website! There are random things there and it's not completely finished but the link is here. Go over and check it out when you get the chance? Tell me if anything needs to be changed. And I'm working on making a new layout for it. ^^ I'm still new to layouts so I'm tryinig.

Eh....

I should really be working on my final right now so that is what I'm going to be doing.

I'm trying to find a decent layout for my profile but I just can't seem to. ~.~ Maybe I should do something with King of Fighters or Samurai Spirits/Shodown since I'm in a big mood to play at the moment. This weekened Kit and I went to the mall and I finally reserved Persona 3. Yes, that's right, Persona 3! It's been eight years since 2 and I am estatic. I also found Castlevania Circle of the Moon and now I just need to get Aria of Sorrow. I think it's going to be hard to find.

But~, Castlevania: Dracula X is coming out sometime and I can't wait for that either. Flail, I'm so happy. Um, I got my website done and I'm glad for that as well. I just want to learn how to make profiles for MySpace and LiveJournal so I can start doing them myself.

Ah~, have I ever told anyone how much I love PhotoShop? I do. I really do.

So... Yeah, I'm bored at the moment. I really should be cleaning and packing since Kit and I should be moving this week but eh, it's a week. I'm in college, I don't have very many things. XD At least I shouldn't. Um...

Oh yeah~, I'm getting a kitten. It's one of Gojyo's (my baby) son. I think I want to name it after something from Metal Gear Soild. Probably Ocelot or Raiden. I liked Raiden. I also liked Raikov but he's too much like Raiden... though Raikov is a paradoy after Raiden. What about Hal? =O After Otacon? Eh, still waiting for MSG4 to come out. ~.~ I WANT IT!

Oh! I forgot to mention as well, on Wensday I got Odin Sphere. <3 I love it, the art is pretty and it's from Atlus. I love Atlus games. Oh~, Shin Megami Tensei. You have to love SMT. -Flail.- I'm going now.

Happy birthday to me~.

;o; Yep, I am turning 20 today.

SNK vs Capcom Card Fighters DS. Yeah, I'm getting it today. All I'm doing is waiting for Kit to get out of class then we can go pick it up.

Speaking of which this weekend I bought a DS. I preordered Card Fighters and bought Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow so you could hear me yellling at it; "Son of a bi--" When ever I die or "Just give me your damn soul!" since I'm trying to get all of them. ~.~ I'm only at 44. something percent and at a level 41.

I want to get Dynasty Warriors DS so I might go preorder that when I get money. <3

Oh GOD do I miss San Antonio. I'm not going to be there for my birthday (May 8th) and I'm turning 20 here without my family. =/ I want them to get me presents. Well maybe money so I can buy my own presents since I want to get Phoenix Wright and Trauma Center for the DS (How old is that game anyway?) Yes, yes I still do want Musou Orochi very bad but I'm heading towards Persona 3 right now. -Flails.- It's been 8 years since Persona 2. This game better live up to the 8 years it was gone. Oh and I want to make the main character fall in love with a guy. XD Just like in 2. That was awesome.

I just need to get a PSP now. Hopefully soon. Ngh, I should probably go back to playing Castlevania and trying to get these souls. >.< Let's hope I don't die again. I'm in the library and they don't need me yelling out loud.

But first... I need to work on the Beni and Ash community that I have up here. ~.~ (Yes, Benimaru Nikaido and Ash Crimson = My SNK pairing.)

I offically LOVE Koei more than I have ever before. Earlier I found out abour Musou Orochi and completely freaked. I have been away from Koei for a long time and when I come back this is what they have. All I have to say is "Oh My Jeebus, Koei has read my mind." I have always wanted to play Zhang He and Ranmaru in the same game but I never could. If I suddenly wanted to play one or the other I would have to change games but by then I was all "Meh. I'll do it later." ;; Thank you, Koei, thank you so much.

Anyway on to school news. : o_o School sucks. (XD Yeah that's all.)


-Sigh.- Right now I'm supposed to be asleep but I can't. I don't know if it's because I found out about Musou Orochi or if it's something else. I mean, I just can't sleep. I was in bed for about an hour with my eyes closed and it didn't work. I honestly don't know what is wrong.

Maybe I'm going into depression again, I don't know. I feel... slightly sad but then extremely happy. Am I just home sick? Everything is confusing me so much and it's not just because of the game. I have been feeling like this since two days ago. I don't know why.

Anyway, I know I said I was going to put up my icons but I'll do it later. I'm still not done making some.

Speaking of which; I was wondering if I should make a community for DW/SW rescources. I know there was an icon community but what about resources. People need them, especially people who don't know where to get them (like me). Well I could get them off the game its self but I wouldn't know how to do that. I can't exactly put the game in my computer and expect the screen shots to just appear. Ah well, I'm still thinking about it right now.

~.~ I should really get to bed. But one last thing. My LJ is not Friends Only anymore. =D No one has been bothering me so I can open it again. Yey?

I'm going home for Christmas! =D My sister comes to pick me up sometime soon. Today? She should be here by tomorrow. Damn it Becky if you come in the middle of the night I am not opening the door for you. o_o I'll be asleep~.

Last night I had a dream about my nephew. I don't remember all of it but the main part was that he was on my lap and we were writing on the walls with a permanent marker. He said he wanted to go do something else and I said "Okay, but can I have a kiss first?" he did what he would have done and laughed then gave me a kiss and got ready to ran off before I pulled him back, hugged him and said that I loved him. Right after he ran off I woke up for school.

>o< I wanted to cry so bad. I almost did! But then I just continued to get ready and leave for school. In my College Success class is when the tears in my eyes started forming and threatening to fall more.

I want to go home~.

This LJ is Friends Only no exceptions on any posts.

~You have to have three things in common with me.
~I'm random. One day I can be a complete fangirl and the next very emotional. Don't like it then don't add me.
~I don't comment a lot, but I do read journals. Doesn't mean I won't comment because I do.
~I don't expect you to comment and or read everyone of my journals, just let me know you listen as well. Like me. You don't have to comment always. Just once in a while would be great.

If you meet these requirements and still wish to add me. Then go ahead~!! ^o^